I Run, Therefore I Am STILL Nuts! By Bob Schwartz

Whether you are just getting acquainted with the joys of running or you can recite the brand and model number of your last 12 pairs of running shoes, you’ll identify with this book as runners did with the popular first volume, I Run, Therefore I Am—Nuts!

Best-selling running humorist Bob Schwartz—the Dave Barry of running—is back and will once again have you laughing as he captures the humor, craziness, and obsessions of runners—new and old—with this new collection of 43 hilarious stories.

I Run, Therefore I Am—STILL Nuts! brings out the humor in situations that every runner can relate to:
- Suffering from RWIA, otherwise known as running watch information addiction
- The addictive nature of high-intensity interval training
- The depths of despair upon learning your favorite shoe will be discontinued
- Embracing the saving grace of age-graded race time calculators
- Attempting to run with a reluctant canine companion
- Trying out running in the oxymoron of barefoot shoes
- If you know that the iliotibial band is not an alternative rock group, wear bruised toenails like badges of honor, and know the feeling of having an elephant resting on your shoulders as you’ve hit the wall—this book is for you!


Contents

Introduction: It’s Staring You Right in the Feet

Part I: It’s All in the Approach to Make Your Runs Beyond Reproach
Chapter 1. Much Ado About Something
Chapter 2. Watch, What You Say To Me!
Chapter 3. We Could All Use a Little More Common Dense
Chapter 4. H.I.I.T. Me With My Best Shot

Part II: Who’s Running With Me?
Chapter 5. Solitary Refinement
Chapter 6. Look At Me Now
Chapter 7. Forecast: Partly Cloudy, Good Chance of Pain
Chapter 8. Every Dog Has Its Way

Part III: Lacing ’Em Up and Laying ’Em Down
Chapter 9. What Are the Odds That Older and Slower Equals
Better?
Chapter 10. Count Me in on Counting Me Out
Chapter 11. Refraining From Explaining
Chapter 12. Log Me In

Part IV: The Road to Injury Is Paved With Foolish Intentions
Chapter 13. Runner, Heal Thyself!
Chapter 14. The Impact Of Nonimpact
Chapter 15. Behind Every Comeback Is a Foolhardy Failure
Chapter 16. Malady Malfeasance

Part V: From the Back of the Pack to the Fleet Elite, Runners Aren’t Run of the Mill
Chapter 17. If the Shoe Fits, Snare It!
Chapter 18. Running Is Elementary, My Dear
Chapter 19. Do What They Say and Watch the Day Zip Away
Chapter 20. Gesticulate in Kind

Part VI: The Nonthinker’s Guide to the Path of Least Resistance
Chapter 21. Do What You Want to Do
Chapter 22. Giving Yourself the Benefit of No Doubt
Chapter 23. More Than a Feeling
Chapter 24. The Time Is Now

Part VII: The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Nonrunner
Chapter 25. Woe Is Knee!
Chapter 26. The Arms Have It
Chapter 27. Scope Me Out

Part VIII: Jack of No Trades, Master of Run
Chapter 28. Lessons Learned, Lessons Spurned
Chapter 29. Who Can Leap Standing Water in a Single Bound?
Chapter 30. Phoning It In
Chapter 31. Fashionable Fartleks

Part IX: Enjoying the View on the Competitive Drive
Chapter 32. To Thine Own Self Be You
Chapter 33. Climb Every Mountain, or at Least a Small Mound Now and Then
Chapter 34. Just Lose, Baby!
Chapter 35. Faster Finishing Counterparts

Part X: The Legs Have It! Don’t Be Defeeted
Chapter 36. May the Stick Be With You!
Chapter 37. Not Fully Baring My Sole
Chapter 38. Rhythm of the Run
Chapter 39. Getting the Bends for Bending

Part XI: Behind Every Nuts Runner Are Very Accepting Nonrunners
Chapter 40. For Better or for Worse
Chapter 41. Over Hill, Over Dale, and I’m Pale
Chapter 42. Have Shoes, Will Travel

Appendix: What Color Is Your Singlet?

About the Author
About the Illustrator

Released 2013
264 Pages